So Much More
by ImDoinMe93
Summary: "I love you so much Pretty Girl" he whispered.  At that moment, I didn't think it was possible for a heart to hurt this much. "I really wish I could believe that Lucas…" I whispered...
1. Chapter 1

**Okay so this is my first Brucas one shot. Set after 3x22. Season 3 is still to this day my favorite/least favorite season(any OTH fan can understand why i say that). I believe that if Lucas tried harder Brooke would have told him the truth about what Peyton said. Brucas will always be my favorite couple on OTH no matter what. Unfortunately there is no hope at all seeing as how we are in the 9th and final season …its going to be so hard to watch this final season…..*sighs*So yea this started out as a one-shot but as i was writing a story started circulating in my head...I guess we'll see.**

**Author Note #2: Okay so this is a rant so if you don't want to read it just move it right along. Okay I have watched OTH since the beginning and I have always been a Brooke and Lucas fan. Their chemistry is undeniable. I absolutely LOATHE Peyton. She has got to be the worst friend EVER. The fact that Mark Schwahn made Peyton act like that towards Brooke – her BEST FRIEND- is beyond me! Okay in the first season I believe it had to happen because everyone knew Lucas had feeling for Peyton but cmon! Everyone had finally gotten over it, Brooke and Lucas were back together and HAPPY then she wants to pop out with "oh I think I love Lucas" WTF? If I was Brooke I would have done more than just slap her. But the blame is not entirely Peyton's fault. Lucas spent all that damn time trying to convince Brooke that he was "the one for her" and instead of actually fighting for her when it really mattered HE JUST LET HER GO! If he loved her like he claimed he did then he could have won her back. No instead he just runs back to that fake-blonde, woe-is-me, boyfriend stealing whore. And on that note why did the show decide to make Lucas so f-ing bipolar. Season 1: he wanted Peyton, but settled for Brooke. Season 2: he realized he loved Brooke. Season 3: he gets Brooke after trying forever. Then after trying to get Brooke back in the first half of season 4 he just SUDDENLY realizes Peyton is the one he wants standing next to him when all his dreams come true. Bullshit! My friend and I have this theory that if Chad Michael Murray and Sophia Bush had stayed together then so would Brooke and Lucas. We all know how that ended so it probably made things a little awkward on set, maybe not idk, but that is just our theory. Whoo okay I think I got it all out lol.**

**Here goes….**

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><p>Brooke sat in the hospital waiting room trying hard not let the tears overflow. This was not the time or place to be worrying about her own problems. She looked up and saw Lucas walking towards her.<p>

"How's Nathan?" I asked.

"The doctor said that he is going to be okay." Lucas replied with a small smile.

"Oh thank God!" I murmured. I felt a huge wave of relief wash over me. "That's good. I'm glad he's doing better. On that note I think I'm going to head home, I am in serious need of a shower." I started gathering my stuff and got up to leave. I looked up at Lucas.

"I'll talk to you later." I said. I turned and headed towards the exit. I was almost there when I heard my name. I turned around and saw Lucas coming towards me.

"What's u-" I didn't get to finish before I felt his lips on mine. I didn't hesitate in kissing him back. I wrapped my arms around his neck and opened my mouth to him. _Might as well make the most of it. _I thought to myself. I knew that this was going to be the last time I got to be with him in this way. After thinking about everything that was going on with Peyton, I finally came to the conclusion that it was best to just let Lucas go; before I get my heart broken again. I don't think I could handle it this time. I just had to wait until things had calmed down to sit him down and break it off. I pulled away and looked into his gorgeous blue eyes.

"What was that for?" I asked, trying to catch my breath. He smiled and cupped my cheek with his hand.

"I love you so much Pretty Girl" he whispered.

At that moment, I didn't think it was possible for a heart to hurt this much. I knew his words were supposed to make me feel better, but all they did was break my heart even more. Tears threatened to spill over, and I did my best to keep them from falling.

"I really wish I could believe that Lucas…" I whispered, looking down at my feet. I could feel a few traitor tears roll down my cheeks.

"Broo-" he started.

"No Lucas, we can't do this here….I'll…I'll just see you later." And with that I turned around and walked towards my car. When I got in, there was no stopping the tears. I don't know how long I sat there but when the tears finally dried up, my eyes hurt from crying so much. I cleaned up my face the best I could and headed out of the parking lot.

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><p>The next morning, I didn't feel like doing anything but crawling up in a ball and wallowing in self-pity, but I know I couldn't. I had to go to the hospital and check on Nathan and Rachel. Hell, I was staying in her house, it's the least I could do was check on her while she is lying in a hospital bed. I dragged myself out of the bed and headed towards the shower.<p>

When I got to the hospital, I stopped by Nathan's room first. Haley was in there, she had changed out of her wedding dress, but I could tell that she hadn't slept at all. I knocked lightly before walking in. Haley looked up at me.

"Hey Brooke. What's up?" she said.

"Hi Tutor Wife…I'm fine. Better question is, how are you doing?" I asked. "I'm worried about you."

"I appreciate that Brooke, but I'll be okay. Their letting Nathan go home today." She said with a smile.

"That's great Haley! I'm happy for you guys. Any word on Cooper?"

"Not yet. Hopefully we hear something soon though."

After talking to Haley for a little bit longer I made my way to Rachel's room. I stood there for a few minutes, wondering if I should stay or not. I was about to turn around when I heard a low laugh.

"Hey Bitch, Gonna leave without saying hello to your new roomie?"

"Sorry Whore, I thought you were sleeping. But I forgot, there's no sleep for the wicked." I smirked. "How you doin Rachel?"

"I'll be okay. Can't wait to get out of here though, these hospital gowns are so not my style." She laughed. I knew she probably didn't want to talk about it, but it was bugging me.

"Rachel…what happened out there?" I could tell she knew what I meant because I could see her body tense up and look down at her hands.

"I..I don't know…one minute me and cooper were arguing and the next thing I know we're crashing into the bridge." She said softly. "I don't remember anything else…"

"No, Rachel I'm sorry. It's too soon. We don't have to talk about it right now." She smiled at me in thanks.

"So..how are things with you and Blondie?" she asked

"I'd rather not talk about it, if you don't mind. " I said feeling myself getting angry all over again.

"Actually I do mind. I am here stuck in this dreary hospital with nothing to do. Now, spill". She said. I didn't really want to get into it, but maybe she could give me some useful advice.

"She told me she still had feelings for Lucas," I said in a huff.

"And?" Rachel asked with a look of confusion on her face. I felt my face heat up as my anger flared up again.

"And? AND She's supposed to be my best friend! And not only that, but not even 24 hours after she told me I found out that they kissed AGAIN! SO EXCUSE ME FOR BEING UPSET!" I could feel my eyes fill with tears and did everything in my power to hold them in.

"Brooke, that's not what I meant…." She tried to explain. I couldn't do this right now. I got up and turned toward the door.

"I have to go. I don't why I thought you could help me anyway. If I remember correctly, you tried to sleep with him too." With that I walked out the door. I quickly made my way to the car, not wanting to run into anyone at the moment. I sat in my car and tried to figure out where to go. I was pulled from my thoughts when I hear my phone ringing. I answer without looking at it and immediately regretted it when I heard the voice on the other end.

"Hey Pretty Girl…" Lucas said from the other end.

"What do you want Lucas right now is not a good time." I said quickly.

"Umm..okay well I was hoping we could talk. Can you meet me?

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><p>When I pulled my car up to the River Court, I could see that Lucas was already there waiting for me. I took a couple deep breaths and made my way over to him.<p>

"Let's get this over with Luke." I said crossing my arms.

"Okay I guess I'll go first. "He said "I'm sorry for not telling you about the kiss, Brooke. But you have to know that it didn't mean anything. She was dying…and scared.."

"I can't believe you still think this is about the kiss! It is so much more than that!" I yelled. "I said it once but let me say again. You never let me all the way in! I am your girlfriend and you didn't even call me while you were away! You know I forgave you and Peyton for what happened last year even if it did take a while. And I actually believed for one second that you guys could actually be just friends, but I see now that's not possible. You have this hero complex about you. You save people Lucas, that is what you do. And Peyton is always the person you have to save. I understand that now. I have come to the conclusion that I will never have all of you. I asked you one thing! To just stay away from Peyton and you couldn't even do that! You could never ignore you precious Peyton!" I didn't even realize I was crying until my vision blurred and I stopped to take a breath.

"Brooke, I don't know how else to say I love you and that I'm sorry! I told you that I don't have feelings for Peyton and you don't believe me. What do you want me to do? Cut her out of my life completely? Fine, if that's what you want then fine, I'll do it." He said angrily. He threw the ball across the court in frustration.

"What the hell do you have to be angry about?" I yelled "Did I cheat on you with your best friend for the second time might I add!"

"You wanna know why I'm upset Brooke? I'm upset because the girl that I'm in love with thinks I love someone else, no matter how many times I try and tell her otherwise. It's like you've convinced yourself that I have feelings for Peyton so nothing I say can change your mind!

"You think I want you to have feelings for Peyton? Do you think I like feeling so insecure? Well guess what I don't! I wish I didn't have a constant reminder of what you two did, but I do! Every time I see you two together, those insecurities come rushing back to me!" I was getting angrier and angrier each word I spoke. I stepped closer to him until we were toe to toe. I could feel his breath against my face.

"How dare you? HOW DARE YOU?" Before I could even think about what I was doing my hand came up and slapped him. My eyes widened in shock. I can't believe I just did that. I looked up at Lucas and to say he was surprised an understatement.

"Luke…I'm so so sorry. I don't know what came over me…."

"No its okay. I guess I just never realized how upset and hurt you really were." He said. For some reason that brought on a fresh waves of tears.

"That's just it look Luke. We go days without having a meaningful conversation, so how would you know what I'm feeling. I feel like I'm in this relationship by myself, and that's not how it should be. "I knew where this was headed and I could tell that Lucas did too.

"I can't do this anymore Lucas." I whispered softly. The look on his face when he registered what I said broke my heart all over again. I had to get out of here otherwise I was going to have a mental breakdown right in front of him.

"I'm sorry…" I leaned up and kissed his cheek. I couldn't look him in the eyes so I just turned around and walked. I took my time walking to my car, desperately holding on to the tiny shred of hope that he would stop me from walking away and just hold me in his arms and never let go.

As I drove away, I looked in the rearview mirror. There he was…still standing in the same spot that I had left him.

**And...scene! I hope you enjoyed! I know it ended on a sad note...but I think it is necessary for the time being. So...should I continue? Let me know!:) R&R Pleaseeeeee!**

**~Kaylin**


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow! Thank you to all of you that read and reviewed! I know 15 doesnt seem like a lot but it is to me so THANK YOU! I decided to continue so...here is Chapter 2 of So Much More.**

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><p>I sat on my bed in the room Rachel and I share, and just continued to stare at the ceiling like I had been doing for the last couple of hours. I was numb. Not just physically, but mentally as well. The only thing that was on my mind was what had just happen with Lucas.<p>

"_That's just it look Luke. We go days without having a meaningful conversation, so how would you know what I'm feeling. I feel like I'm in this relationship by myselis f, and that's not how it should be. "I knew where this was headed and I could tell that Lucas did too. _

"_I can't do this anymore Lucas." I whispered softly. The look on his face when he registered what I said broke my heart all over again. I had to get out of here otherwise I was going to have a mental breakdown right in front of him. _

"_I'm sorry…" I leaned up and kissed his cheek. I couldn't look him in the eyes so I just turned around and walked. I took my time walking to my car, desperately holding on to the tiny shred of hope that he would stop me from walking away and just hold me in his arms and never let go. _

_As I drove away, I looked in the rearview mirror. There he was…still standing in the same spot that I had left him._

It just kept replaying in my head over and over again. I thought that I would feel better after everything, but I only feel worse. Walking away from Lucas was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. Just saying his name, made my heart ache in response. If this was the right thing to do, then why do I feel so lousy? _Because you love him. _Said a tiny voice in my head. _Oh shut up, you know why I did it! Oh my god…I've officially lost it. I'm talking to myself. _I sat up in bed and picked up my phone. I had 4 missed calls. I flipped it open and saw that they were all from Lucas. Why the hell was he calling me? Did he not understand what had happened earlier? I gave him an out so he could run back to Peyton, why is he still pretending to care? I went to the closet and grabbed a box. Walking around my side of the room, I started grabbing anything and everything that reminded me of Lucas. Pictures, clothes, anything he had ever given me. Half way through I decided to plug in my iPod and distract myself from my thoughts. I turned to continue and stopped when I saw a picture on top of my dresser that I forgotten to grab. It was a picture of me and Lucas; it was taken the weekend we went up to Rachel's cabin, after the school shooting. I was laughing at something someone had said, but Lucas was looking at me. His arms were around my waist and he was looking at me with a small smile on his lips. It was the look in his eyes that made me starts crying. He was looking at me like I was the only girl in the world; in this one captured moment, he was looking at me with love and adoration. I took my thoughts away from the picture for a moment and listened to the song that was playing. As soon as I realized what song it was, I started crying harder.

_Even if you were a million miles away_

_I could still feel you in my bed_

_Near me, touch me, feel me_

_And even at the bottom of the sea_

_I could still hear inside my head_

_Tellin me, touch me, feel me_

_And all the time you were tellin me lies_

_So tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you_

_Tonight I'm gonna find a way to make it without you_

_I'm gonna hold on to the times that we had tonight_

_I'm gonna find a way to make it without you_

What the hell did I do wrong in a past life? I thought bitterly. I sat down on my bed and held onto the picture, just letting myself break down. I know I should be stronger than this, but I couldn't keep it together anymore. Why did I have to fall for Lucas Scott? I knew that he had feelings for Peyton and I still pursued him. I actually thought that he might the one for me, like he had told me so many times before. I guess I should have seen this coming, I mean if they did it once then there was only a matter of time before it happened again. As soon as the words left Peyton's mouth, I knew that my entire world was about to collapse around me. All of the feelings of hurt and betrayal from last year came rushing back full force.

_Have you ever tried sleeping with a broken heart?_

_Well, you could try sleeping in my bed_

_Lonely, own me nobody ever shut it down like you_

_You wore the crown_

_You made my body feel heaven bound_

_Why don't you hold me_

_Need me, I thought you told me_

_You'd never leave me_

_Looking in the sky I could see your face_

_And I know right where I fit in_

_Take me, make me, you know that I'll always be in love_

_With you_

_Right til the end _

_Ohhh_

_So tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you_

_Tonight I'm gonna find a way to make it without you_

_I'm gonna hold on to the times that we had tonight_

_I'm gonna find a way to make it without you_

Why did she have to tell me she had feeling Lucas? What kind of best friend does that? She had her shot and he still wanted me! ME! It doesn't matter how hard I try and understand and reason, the facts are still the facts. They kissed. Again. He will always have feelings for my former best friend no matter how hard I try and ignore it. I was nothing but a distraction while Lucas was biding his time, waiting for Peyton to realize her true feelings…Sitting here just thinking about it made me mad all over again. The one boy I love is the one boy I can never have. I looked down at the picture in my hand and saw that my tears had fallen onto the glass.

_Anybody could've told you right from the start_

_It's bout to fall apart_

_So rather than hold onto a broken dream_

_I'll just hold on to love_

_And I could find a way to make it_

_Don't hold on too tight_

_I'll make it without you tonight_

_So tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you_

_Tonight I'm gonna find a way to make it without you_

_I'm gonna hold onto the times we had tonight_

_I'm gonna find a way to make it without you _

I don't know how long I sat there after the song ended, but eventually got up and put the picture in the box and closed up. I put in on the floor and crawled into bed. I just laid there and cried and cried. Cried for a love I would never be able to have…eventually I drifted into a deep sleep. Dreaming of things that actually made sense.

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><p>When I opened my eyes I knew that it was way too early in the morning to be up. I looked over at my clock and it read 6:00. I had been asleep a good 11-12 hours. There was no way I could go back to sleep if I tried. I got up and gathered my stuff to take a shower. When I got to the bathroom, I looked at myself in the mirror. I could hardly recognize myself- my hair was sticking up all over the place, my make-up was smeared and my eyes were all red and puffy from crying. In short, I was a hot mess. I turned on the water to the hottest setting and got in. I just stood there and let the hot water run over my body, letting it wash away everything, physically and mentally. I stood there until the water started to get colder and colder. I hurried up and washed my hair and myself and got out. When I got out I saw that it was 730. Damn, I didn't know I was in there THAT long. Ooops! I took my time getting dressed and doing my hair. When I was done it was only 9:00. What the hell was I supposed to do know? I was interrupted from my thoughts when my phone rang. I got to grab it and looked to see who it was. <em>Tutor Wife. <em>My phone flashed.

"Hello?" I answered

"Hey Tigger." Haley answered. "Are you busy right now?"

"Not at all. What's up?" I would do anything at this point to escape being alone.

"Well I was wondering if you could come pick up Nathan and I from the hospital. He can go home today, but I forgot that we don't have our car at the moment..." she laughed.

"Of course I will, I'll be right there."

"Thanks Brooke."

"Anytime."

When I got to the hospital, I saw Haley standing there with Nathan sitting in a wheelchair, looking extremely bored. I got out to help get Nathan in the car.

"Hey there Hotshot." I smirked.

"Hello to you too Brooke." I smiled at his tone. He never liked my nickname for him. After we got him in the car, I made my way to the Naley household. The ride was unusually quiet; everybody absorbed in their own thoughts. When I pulled up to the apartment is when someone finally broke the silence.

"Brooke I talked to Lucas…." My breathed hitched at the sound of his name, and turned to look at Haley.

"And?" I tried to keep my face void of any emotion. I don't know if I succeeded because Haley looked at me with concern shining bright in her eyes.

"He told me what happened…are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I said a little too quickly. "Let's get Nathan in the house before he stinks up my car. Jeez Nate, when was the last time you showered?" It was a poor attempt to change the subject but it worked.

"Gee thanks Brooke" I heard from the backseat. I couldn't help but laugh at his face.

"Anytime Hotshot." I said with a wink. We made our way up to the apartment, and before I had a chance to sit down, my phone rang. _I am popular today._

"Hello?"

"Hey, It's Rachel. Don't hang up!" I remembered my argument with her yesterday; I knew I had to straighten things out.

"I'm not gonna hang up. What's up?"

"Good. I just got home from the hospital, and you are nowhere to be found. If I was anyone else I would be hurt, but since I'm not ill just ask: where the hell are you?" I couldn't help but laugh at what she said-it was just so..._Rachel _of her.

"I had to pick up Haley and Nathan from the hospital. They didn't have their car. Would you like me to come back?"

"No…I just thought I would waste my cell phone minutes to hear your annoying voice…" she replied

"Oh well in that case," I laughed "I'm leaving here in a minute, I'll be home soon" I was met with a dial tone. She hung up on me! I shook my head and tossed my phone into my purse. I got up and to go when Haley came out of the bedroom.

"You leaving?" she asked.

"Yea, Rachel just called and she just got home from the hospital too, so I'm going to home to talk to her. The last time we talked, we kinda had a fight." I said with a frown.

"Home? Since when do you live with Rachel? I though you two couldn't stand each other?"

"I needed a place to stay, and she offered, plus she's not as bad as I thought. She's still a bitch, but were getting along better."

"What happened? I thought you were living with Peyton?" My entire body froze when she mentioned my former best friend's name.

"Ask her. I don't want to talk about it." I said quickly. I grabbed my stuff and headed towards the door.

"Brooke!" I hesitated but turned around to look at her. "I understand if you don't want to talk about any of this right now, but I just want you to know that I'm here for you if you ever decide you want to talk about it. I'm your friend too ya know?"

"Thank you Haley. That really means a lot to me, but please don't worry about me, I'll be fine. Take care of Nathan." I said giving her what hoped looked like a convincing smile.

"I'm going to pretend to believe you for right now. But when you're ready to talk-"

" I know where to find you Tutor Wife" She came up and gave me a long hug.

"Tell Nathan I said goodbye" With that I was out the door and heading home.

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><p>As I got in the house I went straight upstairs to our bedroom. Rachel was lying down on her bed flipping through a magazine. She must've heard me come in the house because she didn't even look up from what she was reading.<p>

"Well look who found her way home!"

"Well I got a call from my whore of a roommate, who couldn't wait to have me come keep her company." I said flopping down across my bed.

"Whoever she is, she obviously is not in her right state of mind, if she did something like that." I chuckled at what she said but decided to leave it alone. We sat there in silence for a few minutes before I decided to say something."

"Rachel, I just wanted to say I'm-"I started to say. She put down her magazine and looked at me.

"Save your breathe, I accept your apology" I raised an eyebrow at her.

"Oh so you just knew I was going to apologize?" I asked

"Of course you were. You went all Mariah on me for no reason. So let's just fast forward through tat part of the conversation and let's continue from where we were yesterday." I was about getting ready to come back with a response, bur I realized she was right. I flipped out on her, even though she wasn't the one I was mad at.

"Well yes ma'am. And as for continuing our conversation, I'll pass thanks."

"Ohhh no you don't. We're going to talk about this, whether you like it or not."

"Rachel-"

"So we left off with Peyton telling you she still has feelings for Lucas. And I will again: So? Why are you so upset that she told you?" I thought about just ignoring her but quickly realized that I had no option. I let out a huge deep breath and looked up at the ceiling.

"How can you not see how I'm upset? My best friend told me she had feeling for my boyfriend. Does that not seem odd?"

"I'm not saying what she did was okay, but why would you let it have an effect on you? Lucas chose you."

"I know you weren't here last year, but let me fill you in on what happen. Lucas and I dated, and then he cheated on me with Peyton. He used me for the physical stuff, the sex. All the while having feelings for my best friend. It almost killed me last time Rachel, and I'm not about to go through that again. So I gave Lucas an out. I ended it yesterday, so he can run pack to Peyton."

"Why the hell would you do that?" she yelled. I jumped a little at her outburst. Why was she yelling at me?

"I told you. I can't go through that again, Rachel. I won't be able to come back from it this time."

"So you're just going to give up? You're giving her exactly what she wants. Did you ever consider the maybe she told you she had feelings for him to mess with your head?"

"Of course I thought about it. But Rachel she has history on her side. Lucas had me, and went running to her before. What's to stop him from doing it again?"

"Brooke listen to me. You want to know what's going to stop him from doing it this time?"

"Enlighten me, all-knowing one." I said sarcastically.

"He chose you, Brooke. He fell in love with YOU, not Peyton. He could have gone back to Peyton, but he didn't. He realized that he loved you, and decided to make things right, and tell you how he really feels. Why would he go through all that trouble if he really wanted Peyton?" I stared at her. I was speechless. "Exactly. You know I'm right. When you broke up Lucas, you did exactly what she wanted you to do. You can't give her so much power Brooke."

"There's more to it than that Rachel. I mean yea that's a huge part of it, but I didn't feel like he needed me anymore. I felt like I was in a relationship by myself and it shouldn't be like that. After Keith died things changed, he changed…it felt like we were drifting apart at a time where we should have been growing closer"

"That's bullshit and you know it. Stop making excuses Brooke. Admit it: You're scared. And that's understandable but you need to do what you wanted Lucas to do. You need to fight for him. You made a big deal about making him fight for you and proving his feelings for you, and he did just that. He proved to you that his feelings were real, now it's your turn. If Peyton wants to play dirty then fight back, show her why Lucas chose you. Show her why you were the one he fell in love with."

Listening to her was bringing tears to my eyes, I quickly wiped them away, trying to reel in the ones threatening to spill over.

"Rachel have you ever been in love? And I mean actually IN love with someone, not just lust?" I asked trying to make her understand. I looked at her and could see in her eyes that the answer was no. "Well I have only been in love once. With Lucas. He changed me in a way that I didn't know I could. He made me see that the person on the inside was what mattered most. He saw right through my tough exterior to the girl that just wanted to be loved. I had never given a rat's ass before but with him I did. And to me that meant something. So when he cheated on me with the one person I loved most in the world-my best friend- it hurt. It hurt more than I thought possible. After that I was broken, and it took a while for me to even consider talking to them again."

"But you did talk to them again. You forgave both of them." She interrupted.

"I did forgive them. And at the time I really was over it. But when Lucas told me that he wanted to be with me again, all those feelings came rushing back ten-fold. Why me? What had changed? You're right about one thing though. I did make him prove his feelings to me, because I needed to know that he was for real, and for a while it seemed like he was. But it's more than just words; it's how you show it. So yea I admit it, when Peyton told me she had feelings for him I got scared, I was already feeling distance between us, so add that little cherry on top, and in my head, the best thing to do was to end it before I got hurt again, and save myself the heartache." There was no stopping the tears now. I saw Rachel get up and head into the bathroom, coming out holding a box of Kleenex.

"Thanks" I said, cleaning myself up a little bit.

"Brooke, I'm going to ask you one more thing then I'll leave it be: Did breaking up with him really save you any heartache?" When she said that I looked up at her with wide eyes, "because that's not what it looks like to me…"

"Cause in the end it all hurts just the same." I whispered, more to myself than her, but I knew she heard me. I started crying harder, as I remembered whispering those same words to Lucas after we had broken up last year. Rachel got up and came and sat down next to me and wrapped her arms around my shoulders. I leaned into her and just let it all out. The last thing I remember thinking was that she was going to kill me for ruining her shirt.

**Wheww done! That was intense! lol It took me awhile to get this just right. I hoped you liked the Brooke/Rachel heart to heart. I felt that if anyone was going to be honest with Brooke it would Rachel. Sooooo...tell me what you think! Your feedback means more than you know!:)**

**Song: Try Sleeping with a Broken Heart by Alicia Keys - i know it might seem a little cheesy but the song came up in my iTunes while i was writing so i decided to throw it in their!:p**

**R&R!3**

**~Kaylin**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey everyone! I'm back with a new chapter! This is my favorite so far, and it also took the longest to right so I hope you enjoy. I didn't get a lot of reviews for the last chapter, but I do want to say thank you to those of you who did. I really do appreciate it! All you authors that have your own stories know that reading people's thoughts on what you've written can be the greatest feeling. So bottom line? REVIEW! Lol Although I have to say that where I lacked in the review departement, I gained in other areas. I lost track to how many readers added this story to their story alert/favorites which made me feel all special:D So thank you to all of you that did that! Okay enough chit chat. Let's get to the goods;) Ladies and (very few) gents, chapter 3 of So Much More...**

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><p>I groaned as my alarm clock went off Monday morning. I hit the snooze button, grabbed my pillow and covered my head with it.<p>

"Oh no you don't." I heard a voice above me say. Before I could even begin to protest, my pillow was snatched from my head.

"Rachel, what the hell are you doing?" I yelled my voice husky from sleep. I looked up to see my roommate smiling down at me.

"Rise and Shine, Sleeping Ugly" she said. "You need to get ready. I'm not going to be late because of your slow ass."

"I'm not going to school today, you know this already." I responded. I didn't get to finish because my covers were ripped off.

"Oh yes the hell you are. Now get up! You are not giving that fake-blonde whore any reason to believe that she's won. Now…GET UP!" Then she slapped me on the ass HARD!

"OW! Dammit that hurt!" I whined, sitting up in the bed.

"Oh please, you know you liked it. Now get in the shower. You have half an hour before we're late, so chop chop." I knew I was going to lose this one so I slowly made my way to the bathroom. "Atta girl!" I heard her say; I flipped her off before slamming the door shut.

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><p>When we pulled up to school, I felt nauseous. I had been feeling sick for the last couple of days, but didn't pay any attention to it. Rachel looked over at me from the driver's seat and I think she could tell something was wrong, because she gently grabbed my arm.<p>

"Hey, you're gonna be fine. I'll be right there if you need me." I looked over at her and gave her a small smile."Thank you Rachel. I meant it. Thank you."

"No problem. Now let's go make broody boy regret ever thinking about any other girl but you." And with that she hopped out of the car. I got out of the car and took several slow breathes and started towards school. Luckily we were running late, so I didn't have to worry about running into anybody before school. I headed towards my first class, glad that only Haley was in that class. I made it all the way to lunch before spotting Lucas or Peyton. As I walked towards our lunch table, I spotted the first sitting there already with everyone else. When I got to the table I saw Rachel scoot over and make room for me. I sat down and smiled at everyone-well almost everyone.

"Brooke you are just in time" Nathan said with a smile. I tilted my head in confusion.

"Just in time for what?" I asked.

"I am trying to convince by beautiful wife here that we need to do something fun. After this past weekend, I think we could all use it." He explained

"So where do I come in?" I asked, still confused.

"Well she thinks I need to take it easy for a while, even though I keep telling her I am fine. More than fine actually." I looked over at Haley for confirmation and she rolled her eyes. "So I need you to convince your friend that a night out with all my friends is just what I need."

"Okay ….well Haley," I turned my gaze to her, "your hubby over here wants to go out. I think that it's only fair that he be allowed to."

"Brooke I just don't think it's a good idea yet." Haley argued. I could see that she was getting frustrated. I tried to think of something that would appease both of them.

"Okay how about this: Instead of going out how about we all stay in. We've all had a long couple of days, and we just need to relax a little. Okay this is what we're going to do. We are all going to come over to me and Rachel's house and spend some time together. Of course there will be alcohol-so that we can all relax a little, food, movies, anything we want to do-within reason." I looked over at Nathan, "Your wife does have a point, maybe you should wait awhile before going back out full force," then I looked at Haley, "I agree that Nathan should take it easy, but this way he can still socialize and have some fun without over doing it. Now can you both live with that?" I looked back and forth between the two. They seemed to contemplate it for a few moments before smiling and nodding their heads.

"Good now, Rachel" I continued, turning to look at her, "it's okay that we have this little gathering at our place right?" She looked at me for a minute, looking to see if I was really okay with this. I gave her a wink, letting her know I was fine.

"I don't see why not, I'm always down for a good kickback." She said with a smirk

"Don't we know it.." I heard someone say, I laughed at the comment and turned back to the rest of the table.

"Okay good, we've got that settled." I said, proud of my problem-solving skills. _Now if only I could solve my own problems_ I thought to myself with a laugh.

"And that right there is why we love you Brooke Davis." Nathan said, before taking a long sip of water.

"At least somebody really does..." I froze. I did not just say that out loud. I looked up at everyone's faces and their expressions, confirmed it. Shit! What the hell was wrong with me? I looked down at my hands awkwardly, praying that someone would change the subject. Thankfully Rachel jumped in and started asking everybody what kind of alcohol she should buy for this weekend, and what we were going to do. That seemed to divert their diversion from what I had just said. I looked up, and was met with a pair of piercing blue eyes. I had successfully averted his gaze up until now. I tried to look away, but I couldn't. I found myself getting lost in those gorgeous eyes of his. I don't know how long we were in our own world, but I was pulled away from his gaze when I heard someone clear their throat. I turned to see what had happen, and saw my former best friend sitting down at the table. Everyone got real quiet, almost holding their breath, waiting to see what was about to go down. _You can do this Brooke_ I thought quietly to myself. I put on a fake smile and tried somewhat to continue the conversation that had been going on. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see both Peyton and Lucas looking at me with very different looks in their eyes. Lucas was looking at me like I had just told him his puppy had died, and Peyton was glaring at me like I had just killed said puppy. I tried my best not to pay attention to either one of them.

When the bell rang, signaling that lunch was over, I quickly gathered up my stuff and got up from the table. I threw a quick "See you at practice" to Rachel and Haley and made my way to my locker.

When I got to my locker, I let out the breath I didn't even realize I was holding. I leaned my forehead against the cool metal and counted to ten.

"New breathing technique?" I heard from a deep voice ask from behind me. Every part of my body froze, and it felt as though my heart had stopped beating. I would know that voice anywhere. Lucas. I guess my exit strategy from the lunch table wasn't as affective as I thought. Now I had two options: either suck it up and talk to him or wait for the floor to open up beneath me and swallow me up. I wasn't too keen on the first option, but the last time I just checked, the floors were pretty sturdy. I did my best to reel in my emotions and turned to face him.

"Can I help you with something Lucas?" I asked. My voice lined my annoyance. I looked him in the eye and tried ignoring the way my stomach was doing all kinds of acrobatic movement, just from him being this close to me. He didn't say anything at first, he just looked at me. I raised an eyebrow at him, and put a hand on my hip. "What the hell are you staring at?" That seemed to get his attention and he laughed.

"I'm sorry, but I was hoping we could talk." He said hesitantly.

"What is there to talk about? " I asked curiously. What the hell could there possibly be left to say?

"Well..I tried calling you this weekend…"

"Yea, I thought you would take the hint when I _didn't _answer or call you back. I guess that's what I get for thinking huh"

"I wanted to talk about what happened…" he said, looking down at the ground. I let out a loud sigh; I had to get away from him-right now.

"Are you confused? Did you forget? Well here let me refresh your memory…it's over. You don't have to pretend anymore. Go run back to your little whore, I'm pretty sure she'll welcome you back with open arms; matter of fact I know she will. Hope you two are happy together." Wow I sounded like a bitch. I could tell I hit a nerve because I saw his jaw clench for a couple of seconds like he was trying to keep himself from saying something in response.

"Brooke, please don't be like what..." he begged.

"Be like what Lucas? " I asked exasperated.

"Like this, cold and mean. It's not you." He explained. He leaned towards me and ran his thumbs across my cheeks. I reveled in his closeness for all of a second before realizing what was happening. I pushed his hands away from my face.

"Don't. Touch. Me." I said slowly. I was now trying to keep the tears from forming. "You lost that right."

He opened his mouth to say something but we were interrupted when we heard someone calling his name. We turned around to see Peyton walking towards us.

"Saved by the Bitch" I laughed bitterly. "Tell your girlfriend I say hi." I didn't give him a chance to say anything; I threw a sneer in the tramp's direction, turned and headed in the opposite direction. I didn't make it 10 steps before my vision blurred. I quickly ducked into a bathroom to get myself together. No way was I going to let people see me crying over the two of them. I wiped away the few tears that had escaped down my cheeks and refreshed my eye make-up. I looked at myself in the mirror and stared at my reflection.

"You can do this," I told myself for the second time that day. "You are Brooke Davis. You don't let men dictate your happiness"_ You know lying to yourself only makes things worse, _Said the tiny voice in the back of my head. Ignoring the voice, I made my way to my next class. Only a couple more hours to go, then I am free. _Until tomorrow that is…oh shut up! Nobody asked for help from the peanut gallery_. The rest of the day flew by in a flurry of boring teachers and even more boring lectures. As I made my way to Rachel's car after practice, I felt a presence behind me. I turned around to see who was there, and saw Haley a few steps behind me. When she saw me turn around she sped up to me.

"Brooke, I need to talk to you." She said in a stern voice. I like to call it her Tutor Girl voice; whatever it was must be important. I looked at her, waiting for her to continue. "Not here. Do you think you can come over later?" Whatever was going on, she had me nervous now.

"Sure, is everything okay Haley? You're kinda scaring me…" I laughed nervously. We had reached the car by then so I turned around to face her. She looked at me and for a second, I could've sworn that I saw fear in her eyes, but she blinked and it was gone.

"Yea everything's fine...I think...or it will…I don't know...I'll just see you tonight" she stammered and walked away towards Nathan, who was waiting by their car. I stood there for a few moments in confusion. What the hell was that about? I didn't have a chance to think about it because Rachel had reached the car and was waiting for me to get in. The whole ride home, I tried to think about what it was she needed to talk to me about.

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><p>When we got in the house I threw my stuff on the bed and went to change. When I walked out of the closet with a change of clothes, I saw Rachel sitting on her bed expectantly.<p>

"So…?" she asked, crossing her arms.

"So…what?" I replied. What was it with everybody today? Why is everyone in a talkative mood all of a sudden?

"Don't play dumb with me, not that you would have to play very hard," she smirked, "I saw you talking to Lucas after lunch, I want to know what happened."

"There's not much to tell really, He wanted to talk and I said no. After throwing in some insults about Peyton, I walked away. The end." I explained.

"Oh well that's boring. It's a good thing everybody is coming over this weekend; we need to spice things up a little bit" she said with a devious smile.

"On no no no, Rachel whatever you are thinking about doing, don't." I warned.

"I'm not thinking about doing anything," she said, I gave her look. "Honest. I mean think about; why would I need to plan anything? Have you ever noticed that when we're all together, that's when shit decides to hit the fan?" I could see her point. It's like our lives are some cheesy teenage drama on The CW.(hehe:p)

"Good point. So that means that we have to try and keep that from happening," I raised an eyebrow at her, "Right?"

"Oh honey please, I'll be the one stirring the pot."

"Rachel, please!" I begged.

"Oh stop. How do you expect to get your man back if everything stays hidden?" she asked. I looked down at the comforter, hoping she didn't see the look of longing when she mentioned Lucas. Wishful thinking.

"Yea that's what I thought. Don't try and hide that look from me." She stated, clearly satisfied with herself. I continued to look down, playing with my hands. _Don't cry Brooke. Don't you dare cry. _

"Fine!" she exclaimed frustrated, "I'll compromise. I promise not to instigate anything, but," she held up her finger in omission, "IF on the very likely chance something does happen, I can't guarantee that I won't add my two cents. Deal?" I looked up at her and smiled in thanks.

"Now that we've got that figured out. I'm gonna hop in the shower before I head over to Haley's," I said getting up, "You gonna be okay here by yourself for a little while?" I know the question probably seemed weird, but since the accident I've been a little worried about her and we really haven't gotten a chance to talk about it yet.

"I think I'll survive. I've got a pint of cookie dough ice cream and a full TiVo calling my name. I'll see you when you get back." She said with a little smile. I looked at her for a couple more minutes before heading to the bathroom; while in the shower I thought how strange it was how in a matter of months Rachel and I had gone from hating each other's guts to roommates and actual friends. It couldn't have been more perfect timing, because with everything that was going on with Peyton and Lucas, I needed someone beside me, and unbeknownst to either of us, she ended up being that person. It was weird, but a good weird nonetheless.

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><p>I walked up to Nathan and Haley's apartment and knocked on the door. Almost immediately the opened and I was greeted with a very freaked out looking Haley.<p>

"Come in." she said quickly. I followed her in the house and went to sit down on the couch. She sat down next to me but didn't say anything. We sat there for a few minutes before I decided to break the silence.

"Hales what's going on?" I asked. She looked over at me and the fear I saw earlier was back. I saw tears well up in her eyes. I leaned over and wrapped my arms around her shoulders. "You can tell me; whatever it is will be okay..."

"Brooke…I'm…I'm pregnant." She stuttered, the tears starting to fall down her cheeks. I dropped my arms to my sides, and my eyes widened in surprise, I wasn't expecting that. But wait….

"Haley I know it doesn't really matter but, did you have a pregnancy test in your purse at the wedding?" I asked. She looked up at me, confusion in her eyes.

"Umm…no…who carries a pregnancy test in her purse?" Well if it wasn't hers, then whose was it….I shook my head, another problem for another day.

"Okay well are you sure you're pregnant? Have you taken a test?" I asked, getting the basic questions out of the way first.

"I'm pretty sure. I took a test and it was positive." She said, still crying. "I don't know what I'm going to do…I-I-I'm only 17! I'm not ready for this. Nathan and I are finally in a happy place...a-and..." she couldn't even finish what she was saying. She just broke down crying. I wrapped my arms around her and held her tight, letting her get it all out. As I rubbed her back soothingly, my mind drifted. I was so scared for her. To be a teenage mother was not going to be easy. I mean yea she was married, but still, even that was pushing it in high school, and what about Nathan? I knew he wasn't ready to have a baby right now. Would this change their relationship? Would he pull a Dan and leave? _No he wouldn't,_ I scolded myself. The last thing Nathan would ever want was to end up like his father; that was for damn sure. We sat there for a while, but neither one of us cared at the moment. When the tears finally stopped, she pulled away and wiped her eyes.

"You get it all out?" I asked, laughing a little.

"Yea, for now at least," she chuckled, before becoming serious once again, "Brooke what am I going to do?"

"Well two things: Have you told Nathan that you might be pregnant?" I asked. She shook her head and looked down.

"No. Not yet. You are the first person I've told. I have to figure out how to tell him Brooke, please don't say anything." She pleaded.

"Of course not, my lips are sealed. The second thing: You need to go to the doctor. You might not even be pregnant, there are such things as false positives. So you need to go and be sure before scaring the hell out of him But I will say this: If you do turn out to be pregnant, then the sooner you tell him the better, it's better to just put it out there sooner rather than later. It's his responsibility too, and it's not fair to you, being the only one worrying about. So find the right time, and just tell him. Then you can take it from there, together." I said. I reached over and grabbed her hand. "Everything is going to be okay. You have a husband that loves you, and friends that would do anything for you. You aren't alone in this, remember that. So when you make the doctor's appointment let me know and I will come with you. You shouldn't have to go by yourself." Her eyes had filled with tears again, but there was a small smile on her lips.

"Thanks Brooke," she said, "I really needed that. I guess I just needed someone to freak out to before facing the reality of it, so thanks."

"Of course buddy, I'll always be here, even when you don't want me to." I said with a wink.

"You know, we had kind of a rocky start, but I want you to know that you are one of my best friends Brooke Davis. I love you, Tigger" She said, catching me off guard.

"Haley…" I said, tears forming in my eyes. "I love you too." I was fully crying now. It was true, Haley and I hadn't started off great friends but over the last year, she became someone that I could count on for everything; a sister. I reached over and gave her a hug. She returned the hug before pulling away and looking at me.

"So not a very subtle change in subject but, Brooke I need you to tell me what's going on with you and Lucas. I mean you two barely looked at each other at lunch today." She said. I let out a loud sigh, I really didn't want to talk about it anymore but after this little Gilmore Girls moment we were having here, it would make me feel bad not telling her.

"We broke up." I stated simply, but I knew that wouldn't suffice, so I continued. "I found out some things, and decided that it was best to end it."

"What could be so bad that it would make you break up with him?" she asked confused.

"Well…um…the night of you and Nate's rehearsal dinner Peyton told me something...she told me she still had feelings for Lucas." I said quickly, figuring it might hurt less saying it fast-didn't work. Saying it aloud only made it even more real-not that it could be any more real than it already was.

"She-she WHAT?" Haley yelled. "Please, please, _please_ tell me you're joking." I think the look on my face convinced her that I was most definitely not joking. I guess I should tell her the rest of it too.

"Then at the wedding I found out that they kissed again." I said softly. She looked at me with wide eyes, clearly in shock. _Yea you and me both sister._ "Yea that was pretty much my same reaction"

"I-I don't even know what to say…" she said in utter disbelief. "I'm so sorry Brooke."

"Yea well I guess I should have seen it coming, I mean they did it once right?" I shrugged.

"No that's not right! Peyton is supposed to be your best friend! Why would she do something like that to you?" she asked. I thought back to the day of the wedding, when I confronted Peyton.

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><p><em>I walked into her room and threw my shoes onto her bed.<em>

"_Hi. Where'd you sleep?" she asked quietly. _

"_In my car, see I had this horrible dream last night, that my best friend told me she had feelings for my boyfriend." She got up from her desk and turned towards me. "Oh, that wasn't a dream, was it?" I said, anger dripping from my voice. I went into the closet and grabbed my bag._

"_Brooke-" she started. _

"_Why now Peyton?" I interrupted, "Why would you tell me you have feelings for Lucas now? When I have so much going on in my life, stuff you don't even know about!"_

"_So do I okay? Trust me! I didn't wish for this alright, I wished for Jake."_

"_Oh you wished Jake, after you wished for Pete, and then Lucas" I said, is she serious right now? "I cannot believe this is happening again." _

"_It's not okay, it's not. It's just…okay the last time…" she tried to explain._

"_The last time? Do you hear yourself right now? The last time you tried to steal my boyfriend? He's on the door Peyton," I yelled, walking over to her closet door, pointing to his name. HE'S ON THE DAMN DOOR UNDER ME!" _

"_I don't want to steal him okay?" she said, crying. _

"_But you like him." I stated, knowing she couldn't deny it. I shook my head in disbelief and continued grabbing my stuff and throwing it in the bag._

"_Brooke I'm not going to do anything about it! Okay? I'll just bury it!"_

"_You can't okay, it's out! It's like the time capsule, and you could've buried it and not said anything to me. So what is that about?"_

"_I don't know alright, I just wanted to be honest with you alright? I didn't want to make the same mistake I did last time." She cried. "And you know what, you even said at last night at Tric that you really didn't miss him" Oh that's it. I have had enough. I walked towards her and slapped her right across the face. _

"_Don't you dare!" I said, pointing a finger in her face, "Don't you__** dare**__ twist my words around to make yourself feel like you are not a back-stabbing two-faced bitch Peyton, because you are, and you know it." I snatched my bag off her bed and stormed out._

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><p>After recalling the whole thing, I looked back at Haley and she was sitting there with her mouth hanging open. I reached over and closed her mouth.<p>

"So that was her excuse? That she was trying to be honest with you? How can she _honestly_ think that the right thing to do was to tell you that she had feelings for Lucas? I don't usually condone violence, but she totally deserved to get slapped in the face. Maybe even more." She scoffed.

"Well it's nice to know I have you approval Tutor Girl," I said with a laugh.

"Absolutely. Now when was this alleged kiss?"

"It was the day of the school shooting. When Lucas went in to save her and they were stuck in there. He said that she was scared and dying and she kissed him." I explained. Thinking back to that day brought back so many painful memories and I knew Haley remembered only too well. That day will always be with us, no matter how hard we try and forget. Haley started to say something but stopped before looking away, like she was afraid to say something.

"Spit it out, Hales." I urged.

"I was going to say…promise you won't get mad?" she pleaded. I nodded and continued, "I was going to say that while I agree that they shouldn't have kissed, Brooke, she was dying and probably scared out of her mind. She had just gotten shot and wasn't in her best state of mind. In her mind, she had minutes left." She looked at me, waiting for my reaction, so what I said next I knew she wasn't expecting.

"You're right." I said truthfully.

"I am?" she asked, shocked that I was agreeing with her about this.

"Yea I agree with everything you just said."

"Well then I'm confused!" she exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air in confusion.

"I admit that when he first told me that they had kissed, I was angry. But when he explained that it had happened in the library that day, my anger disappeared. I was upset that neither one of them had told me about it. If one of them had told me after it happened, yea I would have been hurt but I would've let it go, because I know what that day did to everyone. But instead they decided to hide it, and that is what really hurts me the most."

"Oh…well that makes sense. Does Lucas know that?" she asked.

"No, and I guess that part is my fault because I didn't tell him. But at that point I was tired Haley, tired of trying to get him to let me all the way in. I was sick of wondering if I really had his whole heart, until I realized that I never would. He and Peyton have that whole brooding, nobody understands me thing, that personally I never really understood, but it makes them connect in way that we never could." I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to keep it together.

"Brooke I'm going to ask you a question, and I want to you answer me honestly okay?" she said. I only nodded in response. "Do you love Lucas?" Such a simple question, but it was one that broke the dam threatening to burst inside me. Tears flowed from my eyes, and I had no control over them anymore.

"I do Hales, I l-love him so much, and I probably al-always will." I cried, "But I just don't think that's enough for us anymore." I was sobbing now and I felt Haley wrap her arms around me. I leaned into her and tried to stop crying. It took a few minutes but I managed to stop and sat up and faced her once again. "Sorry about that." I apologized wiping my eyes.

"It's fine, don't apologize." She said with sad smile. "I hope Luke doesn't get mad at me for telling you this, but I think should. When he told me about the break-up Brooke, I have never seen him so heartbroken. I have known him a long time and not once have I seen him so devastated. He didn't have that light in his eyes, the one that's only there when he talks about you. It was like he had just lost a part of himself, the biggest part. Now I don't mean to sound rude, but does that sound like someone who has hidden feelings for another girl?"

"Well when you put it like that…." I said. "I don't what to do anymore. At the time I thought I was doing the right thing, but now I'm not so sure. I did it to save myself from heartache, but only made it worse for myself in the end. I love him, with everything I am Haley, and I just don't think I will be able to recover if he betrays me again."

"You sound so sure that he will betray you again. He fought so hard to get you back; he's not just going to throw all that out the window."

"How do you know that he won't, Haley?"

"How do you know that he will, Brooke?" I put my head in my hands, getting frustrated at this whole conversation; we were just going in circles.

"What should I do then?" I asked her. "What would you do if you were in my shoes?"

"To be honest if I was going through this with Nathan, I guess I would ask myself if I really loved him enough to let go of all the pain he's caused me, and if so, was it all worth it."

"And?"

"And…for me those answers would be yes, because for every painful memory, I have a better and happier memory to go with it. We're human and we make mistakes. I know things won't always be perfect but I know that at the end of the day I wouldn't trade him for anyone else. I can't even imagine my life without him in it. He loves me and I love him, and that's enough for me." I was speechless. I had witnessed the Naley romance from the beginning and I knew that they were a fairytale, but hearing it in this way, it was even more beautiful than I realized. Now I was the one with my mouth hanging open. I quickly closed it before she could say anything. "Just think about what I said alright? If you can't imagine your life without him, if it hurts to even try? That's when you know it's real, and when it's real you can't walk away; you hold on for dear life." I just nodded my head, dumbfounded. What can you say that? I had nothing.

We just sat there after that in a comfortable silence, in our own little world; contemplating on the things we had said each other. Haley was the second person to tell me I shouldn't give up on Lucas. What if she and Rachel were right? Had I made a mistake in breaking up with him? I thought back to the end of the summer when he told me he was the guy for me. Since then he did everything to prove that to me. Sure there were a few hiccups in his plan, but they were created by yours truly. Then I thought about the night he forgave me for sleeping with Chris Keller. I had never expected him to, and I thought I had lost him forever; but he forgave me, and I knew in that moment that I was in love with him. From that day on I thought we were meant to be together. We had been through pretty much everything a couple could go through…and then Keith died. We all took his death hard, but he and Karen had it the worst. I did everything I could to make it easier on them, but it was just something they had to go through I soon realized. He lashed out at me, but deep down I knew that he was just angry and hurt, and didn't mean to hurt me. It took a while but we slowly started to heal. The weekend that we went to Rachel's cabin is when I really felt that I had all of him. I had seen him smile-I mean really smile-and actually laugh for the first time a long time, and I believed that everything was going to be okay. Then when he with his mom left and he didn't call, I felt like maybe he didn't miss me or even need me anymore. But was that really a fair assumption? He and his mother needed that time together, alone, and I knew that. He told me on a regular basis how much he loved me, so why did I have such hard time believing him when it really mattered? I already knew the answer to that. Peyton. She has a connection with Lucas that I've always envied. On paper it would seem like they would make the perfect couple. Brooding artist and the Brooding writer; Lucas and I are completely different. We listen to different types of music. He likes to read novels. I like to read the latest gossip magazine. It would seem as if we have nothing in common, but when we're together it's like none of that stuff matter. We just work. It might not make sense to those around us but that's their problem. I think about what Haley had said, and tried imagining my life without him. It hurt just to think about it. But the biggest question was could I really forgive him for all the pain's he's caused me? Is love really enough for us?

Both Haley and I were so deep in thought we didn't hear someone come into the apartment until they slammed the door behind them. We both jumped up from the noise and looked up to see who it was. Nathan was standing there, tossing a basketball back and forth in his hands, looking amused at the fact that we had not noticed their entry. And right next to him was Lucas. _Ah Hell…_

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><p><strong><em>And I'm afraid that's all for now folks. So...what'd you think? You know you want to tell me, so go on and push that little button...pretty pretty please...with Brucas on top? lol in the words of our favorite brunette..kinky;) haha no but seriously tell me what you thought. What you liked or what you didn't, either way! I have already started working on the next chapter so I will get that up ASAP. Until next time...<em>**

**_~Kaylin_**


	4. Chapter 4

**First let me say that I am soooo sorry! I didn't plan on it being two weeks before I posted the next chapter. The only thing I can say is that I am in college and things are just really crazy right now. If you've attended/are currently in college you know exactly what I mean. Time just flies by. This is more of filler chapter for the next couple of chapters.**

**On another note: Thank you to all of you who reviewed for the last chapter. You dont know how much those mean to me!:D okay enough chit chit, get reading! Chapter 4!**

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><p>Previously on So Much More…<p>

_But the biggest question was could I really forgive him for all the pain's he's caused me? Is love really enough for us? _

_Both Haley and I were so deep in thought we didn't hear someone come into the apartment until they slammed the door behind them. We both jumped up from the noise and looked up to see who it was. Nathan was standing there, tossing a basketball back and forth in his hands, looking amused at the fact that we had not noticed their entry. And right next to him was Lucas. Ah Hell…_

_I can't catch a break, can I?_ Haley and I looked at each other, eyes wide, like a deer caught in headlights. Had they heard what we were talking about? No of course not. From their sweaty appearance it was obvious that they had just got back from the River court. Haley was the first to break the awkward silence.

"My husband's home!" she exclaimed, getting up from the couch and giving him a kiss.

"That he is. Did you miss me?" he asked, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Of course! I always miss you when you're gone." She said giving him another kiss, this one a little bit longer. They were so cute together, but they could also be very nauseating. I looked over at Lucas and he was looking at me. I felt my body heat up and a blush form. Why did he have to look at me like that? He's looking at me with so much longing; I had to get out of here.

"Well as much as I would love watching this sickening display of Naley affection," I said, getting up from the couch, "I'm gonna go. Rachel's waiting for me."

"I still think it's weird that you're living with her." Haley said, pulling away from Nathan, with a look of concern.

"Yea me too," Nathan chimed in, "I'm surprised you guys haven't killed each other yet or at least severely injure." For the first time since they walked in, Lucas said something.

"Yea it does seem kind of weird, one minute you hate each other, then the next your best friends." He said. He looked at me in confusion, and I just rolled my eyes; now he cares? Please.

"Okay, one: It's none of your business who I'm friends with anymore; and two: I've recently had an opening in the best friend department so I thought: What the hell? People who say they love me stab me in the back, so maybe someone who hates me might be a nice change. And I have to say so far so good, she hasn't told me she has feeling for anybody I care about-which I have to say is nice." I said angrily, glaring in Lucas's direction. I knew that here was not the place to bring this stuff up, but it's like an instinct. Be a cold-hearted bitch and it will be easier to talk to him. Then I thought about what Haley and I had just talked about. I still had so much to think about, and until I come up with a plan of action, this is the only way I can be around him.

"Okay, I'm confused." Nathan said. I couldn't help but laugh. That's Nathan for you.

"Babe, not right now. Brooke," Haley said walking towards me. I help up my hands to stop her advancement.

"I'm fine Tutor Wife. I'm going to go. I'll see you tomorrow." I said, grabbing my keys and heading for the door. I stopped half way through the door, and turned towards Lucas. "How is my former best friend anyway? Make you feel sorry for her yet?" and with that I was out, slamming the door behind me. I started walking towards my car, when I heard a door open and close behind me. _Please please please don't let it be…_

"Brooke!" I heard him yell. I didn't say anything, just kept walking to my car. He kept yelling my name, catching up to me pretty quickly. I tried to hurry up and open my door, but once I got it open an arm came from behind me and shut it.

"What the hell do you want Lucas?" I said, turning around. I didn't get to say anything because before I could register anything, he grabbed me and kissed me. His lips were rough against mine, his tongue prying its way into my mouth. I should be pushing him away, stopping him but I can't find the strength to. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him closer; feeling him moan against my mouth. I felt my knees start to shake and felt his arms wrap around my waist, pulling me flush against him. I have never been kissed like this, so thoroughly. I shouldn't be doing this; it was not going to fix anything. If anything this was going to make things even more difficult. I used every ounce of will power I had and pulled my hands from his hair. I put my hands on his chest and pushed him away.

"Lucas…" I breathed, trying to catch my breath. I looked him in the eye and the look on his face made my heart ache. There was hope shining through his eyes, like maybe there was still a chance. "You shouldn't have done that…"

"I know and I'm sorry. I just couldn't let you walk away again, I just reacted." He explained. "We need to talk Brooke. Don't you think you at least owe me that much?"

"I don't owe you anything Lucas!" I yelled. I had to calm down; yelling was not going to help a damn thing. "I'm sorry, but now is not the greatest time, I'm emotionally drained right now. I agree that _maybe _we should talk sometime in the near future, but right now I want to go home and spend some time with my roommate. If you need someone to talk to right this second, I'm sure a certain fake-blonde will be more than willing to talk. Goodbye." I got in my car and started it. Lucas stood there for a couple of seconds before heading back upstairs.

"DAMN IT!" I yelled, hitting the steering wheel. Why the hell did he have to kiss me? Why did I have to kiss him back? And why did it feel so right being back in his arms again…I don't want to think about this right now. I put the car in gear and started home.

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><p>"Rachel!" I yelled, walking into the house. I walked upstairs to see her lying on the bed with a pint of ice cream watching the latest episode of The Bad Girls Club. She jumped up when she saw me and turned off the television.<p>

"Jesus you scared me! Make a little noise would ya?" she exclaimed.

"I did make noise, but you were too involved in your TV show. Don't think I didn't see what you were watching. How can you watch that trash anyway?" I asked.

"Oh please, you know you've found yourself watching it from time to time. I mean let's face it, if you don't make it in the fashion biz then you'll probably end up on the show anyway. I can see it now: The Bad Girls Club: Tree Hill." She said, laughing.

"Well thanks for the vote of confidence and as much as I would like to verbally spar with you, I have something to tell you." I stated.

"Ooo intrigue! Good or bad?" she asked, getting comfortable in her bed once again.

"I'm not sure really…both maybe?" I said hesitantly. I'm not really sure where this whole Lucas thing would fall under. All of the above?

"Well spit it out."

"So I went over to Haley's tonight and we had a pretty intense conversation. Well first Haley told me some really amazing news but that can wait, then we finally got a chance to talk about Lucas. I told her everything about what happened with him and Peyton and she said some interesting things to me…" I told Rachel everything that Haley had talked to me about, everything except for the possibility of Naley babies of course.

"Well I never thought that I would agree with Haley, but she's right. We both have told you the same thing now, how many people will it take for you to realize that breaking up with Lucas, was the wrong thing to do." She said frustration in her voice.

"Are you going to let me finish?" I asked annoyed. She crossed her arms, waiting for me to continue. "As I was saying, after we talked I started to think about what both of you had said, and that maybe you both were right. I mean I shouldn't have given up so easy, but I admit that I did it out of fear; not because my feelings for Lucas were no longer there. So as I was sitting there thinking all of this, guess who walks in? That's right. Lucas. He and Nathan came in looking all hot and sweaty and every thought just went flying out the window."

"Well I can understand that. I have seen Lucas all sweaty and well damn! Boy is fine!" she laughed, fanning herself a little bit. I gave her a pointed look. "Sorry continue."

"Well then my instincts took over. I put up my walls and locked away all my emotions." I continued.

"So basically you were a bitch?" she smirked.

"It's just easier that way. You of all people should understand that." I said, raising an eyebrow at her. "But anyway, so I was on my way to my car and Lucas followed me out and…he kissed me!" I said quickly. Rachel's eyes went wide, I don't think she saw that one coming, and there was more. "And... I kissed back."

"You've been home 10 minutes and you're just now telling me this?" she shrieked.

"Oh stop with the dramatics, I'm telling you now. Can we please focus on the problem here? He kissed me and I kissed back!" I exclaimed, falling back on my bed, looking up at the ceiling.

"Well, I have to admit, making out with Lucas is not exactly something you do if you were confident about your break-up. So how was it? The kiss that is."

"Rachel…." I started,

"Don't even try it. Tell me. How was it?" she pushed. How could I explain how I felt about the kiss when I didn't really know myself? I mean yes, it felt amazing to be in his arms again but one moment of lapsed judgment doesn't erase everything that's happened.

"Honestly? It was amazing. The way he grabbed and kissed me…I felt so loved and safe….and as soon as he let me go, that feeling was gone…" I explained. "I don't know what I'm gonna do Rachel. My heart tells me to let it all go, and just be happy with him. But then my head is yelling at me to just quit before I get my heartbroken again. I don't need all this stress right now; I've been feeling sick for weeks, all this stress can't be good for me. My period is even late, which never happens." Rachel's head snapped up at that.

"You're late? Like late late?" she asked. What was she freaking out about?

"Yes, late. I've been really stressed lately. Are you hard of hearing?" I laughed.

"No smart ass, but you are late and you've been complaining of being nauseous for the last couple of days." She explained.

"Yea…so?" I said, raising an eyebrow. She crossed her arms and just looked at me. I had no idea what she was talking about. So what if I was late? With everything that's been going on lately, it's hardly surprising. I mean why else would I be late? Unless….no. No. No. No. I can't be. I suddenly felt very hot and like I was suffocating. I think I am hyperventilating. My vision blurred as tears formed in my eyes.

"Brooke, Brooke!" she yelled, coming to sit down next to me. "Hey relax its okay. Calm down." She wrapped her arms around me and rubbed my back. I was shaking so bad at this point. I tried to calm down, but it wasn't happening.

"R-Rachel, I-I can't b-be-pregnant." I cried. "I'm only 18! I'm still in high school! Oh God!" I started crying hysterically then. Rachel continued rubbing my back and whispering soothing words. The more I thought about it the harder I cried. Lucas and I were always careful; the walking billboard for safe sex. I'm on the pill and we always used….shit! That weekend at the cabin, we were so wrapped up in each other…but I was still on the pill! I can't believe this is happening! What if I am pregnant? What will I do then? I think back to last year when I thought that I was pregnant. Lucas and I had just broken up and when I told him, he promised that he would be there for me and be nothing like Dan. If I am pregnant this time, does that offer still stand? Who am I kidding? Lucas will always do what he is supposed to do, of course he will be there for me and the baby. Oh my god! The _baby?_ I'm not even sure I'm pregnant yet, I shouldn't be thinking about _it _as anything right now. The tears have slowed down and my breathing has somewhat evened. I pulled away from Rachel and wiped my face.

"Brooke, listen to me. I know you're freaking out right now, but we need to take this one step at a time. The first thing we need to do is get you a test. You might not even pregnant. So that's first, and we'll take it from there." She said to comfort me. Wow anybody else get the feeling of déjà vu?

"Yea, yea you're right. There's no need to freak out completely just yet. I guess I can go to the doctor with Haley, when she goes to take her test." I said out loud, more to myself than to Rachel. Of course she heard me and I cringed when she realized what I said.

"Wait, why is Haley going to the doctor?" she asked, confused. I looked down at my eyes, avoiding eye contact. She took my hesitation as a conformation. "OH MY GOD!" she yelled, jumping up from the bed. "Is Haley pregnant?"

"Rachel please don't say anything, I wasn't even supposed to say anything." I pleaded. "Besides she doesn't even know for sure yet, hence the doctor visit."

"What is with the girls in Tree Hill?" she laughed, shaking her head, "There can't be one pregnant girl, there has to be two of them and one of them is already married. Crazy!"

"I'm glad we can feature in your small town soap opera, but right now is not the time for jokes." I snapped.

"Don't take your anger out on me whore. I'm not the one who got you pregnant." She countered. I suddenly felt guilty.

"I know, I'm sorry, I shouldn't be snapping at you." I said softly, "I just-"

"It's okay. I'll let it slide this time." She smirked. I smiled in thanks, and got up and went towards the bathroom. I looked in the mirror, and I don't know what I was expecting to see. I inspected myself carefully from my head all the way the way down. I couldn't see anything out of the ordinary though. I placed my hand on my stomach and turned to the side. Of course there was nothing, still flat. I began to wonder what I would look like with a baby bump; pregnant, with a child. Lucas's child. A small smile graced my lips at the possibility.

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><p>The rest of the week passes painfully slow and by Friday, I was ready for the weekend. I had successfully avoided talking to Lucas all week, and that was not easy. All week I made it my priority to keep my mind occupied on other things, anything other than my little situation. But I couldn't avoid it anymore; Haley had her doctor's appointment today and I decided that I would suck it up and find out if I was going to be someone's mother. I hadn't told anyone about my suspicions, so I couldn't exactly talk to anyone about it. When lunch came, I was so nervous that I could barely eat.<p>

"So everybody ready for tonight?" Nathan asked excitedly. I looked over at him and laughed, that man needs some serious peer interaction.

"Of course we are Hot Shot. Rachel and I went shopping earlier this week" I said with a smile. I looked down at my food, playing with it-rather than actually eating it.

"You okay Tigger? You aren't eating anything." Haley asked. I gave her what I hoped was a convincing smile and shook my head.

"I'm fine Hales, just not really hungry." I replied. Everyone continued on with their conversations which left me with my thoughts. I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I didn't hear someone call my name. I looked up to see who was calling me, instantly regretting it.

"What?" I asked.

"I just wanted to know if it would be a problem if I came tonight?" she asked softly. I cocked my head to the side and widened my eyes in mock confusion.

"Why would that be a problem Peyton? Did something happen that would keep you from wanting you to come?" I asked, condescendingly. She looked down at her hands uncomfortably.

"Brooke…please let's not do this here…" she pleaded.

"I'm what? Everyone stop what they're doing, Peyton was just about to tell us what we shouldn't be doing" I said, my voice raising in volume, making sure the entire table heard me. I hear everybody's conversation die out and turn to look at me. "Please continue."

"Really Brooke? Is this how it's going to be?" she snapped, crossing her arms in anger. The entire table at this point was staring at us with scared looks in their eyes.

"How exactly did you expect it to be Peyton?" I snapped back. This whole innocent role she's playing is really starting to piss me off. She knows what she did and she knows exactly why I am mad at her. Peyton just glared at me, anger rolling off her. Well that makes two of us sister. "I'm sorry I didn't hear you. Can I buy a vowel Vanna?"

"You know what never mind," she said getting up from the table, "If this is how you want to play it fine. I'm done trying."

"I have to say it's about time. It's starting to get a little pathetic don't ya think?" With that she stomped away, leaving the rest of us staring after her. Everyone turned to look at me then, looking for an explanation. I looked over at Haley to help me out here.

"Okay…well…Brooke, remember we have that thing to do. So we should-"she stuttered gesturing towards the parking lot. Smooth Hales.

"Let's go!" I replied a little too enthusiastically. I started getting up from the table and looked over at Rachel. "I'll see you at home."

"Yea, call if you need _anything_." She said giving me a pointed look. I smiled at her and walked over to Haley.

"Ready Tutor Wife?" I asked.

"Yea, let's go." She said leaning over and giving Nathan a quick kiss. We made our way to the car both of us falling into a nervous silence. Halfway to the hospital, I figured now would be the best time to tell Haley that she is not the only one about to find out of her life is about to change.

"Um Hales…" I whispered. She turned to look at me. I could tell that I had pulled her from what I'm sure was a very hectic train of thought.

"Okay now I know that you're already nervous about today but I need to tell you something." I started, she just continued to stare at me. "Okay…well let me just say this. You won't be the only one finding out whether or not there is a bun in the oven today." Her eyes widened in shock and I heard her take in a huge breath.

"Brooke please tell me you're kidding." She pleaded.

"I wish I was. Trust me."

"Explain."

"Well after you told me that you might be pregnant, I went home and Rachel and I were talking and she mentioned that I had been feeling sick for a while and well you do the math. I'm a couple of weeks late and at first I blamed it on stress, a lot of things have happened in the last couple of months. But once Rachel put the idea in my head it just grew and well after a well-deserved freak out, I decided that the best thing to do was just take the damn test."

"Oh Brooke, I-I don't know what to say…" she whispered softly.

"Well you don't have to say anything, not yet at least. I'm just glad that you are here with me, I couldn't do this without you." I said softly. She reached over and squeezed my hand.

"Me too."

Sitting in the waiting room was complete torture. Both Haley and I were sitting there bouncing up and down in the chairs in pure terror. The doctor told us that it would be about an hour before the results came in so we had nothing to do but sit there and just wait. And wait…and wait…I don't think time has ever passed so slowly. I looked up at the clock and was disappointed to find that it was only minutes later than when I last checked. I tried to think of something to distract Haley and I but before I could I heard her say my name.

"Yea?"

"Look I know this is none of my business but I was just wondering if you thought about what you are going to do if you are…you know pregnant." she asked softly.

"To be honest, no not really, I mean after the initial shock of the possibility that I could be pregnant, I was too scared to really think about it." I explained.

"Yea I understand." She said nodding.

"You know what's funny?" I thought aloud, "when you told me that you thought you were pregnant I was so scared for you. I couldn't imagine what you were going through and how terrified you must be. I felt so bad for you, even pitied what you were going through. Then not even hours later, my oh so subtle roommate, points out that I might be pregnant as well, and I suddenly forgot everything that I had told you."

"It's easier to give the advice when it's not you going through it huh?" she said with a small laugh. I laughed bitterly thinking about it.

"It's ironic isn't it? Only something like this would happen to us. Give advice to a friend, and suddenly you are put in the exact same position." Haley and I both started laughing at the situation that we've found ourselves in. Our laughter was interrupted when a nurse called out our names. I looked over at Haley, both of us sobering up quickly. We stood up and I grabbed her hand and we walked back towards the doctor's office.

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><p><strong>*shielding myself from things being thrown* Now don't be mad at me, but I stopped it here for a reason. The next chapter is going to be worth the wait. I plan on giving you guys a really long update to make up for this short chapter. I know things kind of seemed to happen kinda fast but just bare with me, everything is going to fall into place. So pleeeaseeee review! It helps me write faster! lol:) <strong>

**~Kaylin**


	5. Chapter 5

**Well hello strangers! It's been way too long! lol Let me apologize for the extremely late update. Blame the University of Arizona! They think assigning papers every week is okay just because we're in college;) So yes I apologize profusely! And to make it up to you guys, I'm giving you an update that I think you will be happy with. Especially the end:)**

**On another note: Did everyone see the series finale of OTH? I WAS IN TEARS! From the time the tribute came on to the very end when Jamie (all grown up!) came running out. It was just SO BEAUTIFUL! They told us that us fans would be happy with the finale, and boy was I! It was a bittersweet ending:') And did everybody not LOVE that Gavin DeGraw came and sang "I Don't Wanna Be"? I think that was my favorite part! Everyone was singing and is was just awesome! lol Ok, ok enough gushing! I've kept you waiting long enough. Enjoy!:)**

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><p>Chapter 5<p>

People say that things happen for a reason, that there is a purpose for everything. That you just have to believe and have faith that everything is going to be okay. When people tell you these things, you really want to believe it. Then certain events happen in your life that make you question whether things are really ever going to be alright again. As I sit here trying to comprehend the news I just found out, I think back to every time someone has ever said that to me, and trying to remember my response. I always found myself to be a very optimistic person, one who loves life and lives it to the fullest. Though now as I sit here trying to tell myself that everything is going to be okay, and as hard as I try, I can't even begin to try and convince myself that this situation is anywhere near okay. I pull myself away from my thoughts and look over at Haley. She's looking out the window, lost in her own thoughts.

"Hales…" I whispered softly. She turned to look towards me and I could see the tears that made their way down her cheeks. Seeing her crying, brought tears to my own eyes, and my vision blurred as I tried to contain the tears.

"What are we going to do Brooke?" she cried. Exactly what I was just asking myself. I wish I had an answer to give her, anything to help ease the shock.

"I don't know Haley." I answered. "But the one thing I do know is that, we are in this together from here on out. We have to be there for each other, now more than ever." She nodded, wiping a few tears away.

"Yea you're right. Oh God, how am I going to tell Nathan?"

"Now that I really don't have an answer for, because I have no idea how I'm going to tell Lucas…or if I'm going to tell him…" I said, voice shaking a little. Haley gave me a confused look,

"What do you mean _if _you're going to tell him? Brooke he deserves to know that he is going to be a father." She scolded.

"Well there might not be anything to tell him Hales…" I said, looking down at my hands. I could tell when she got what I was saying because she let out a sharp gasp.

"Brooke! You can't!" she exclaimed. I flinched at her tone, but looked up at her.

"Haley please I don't need to hear it right now. I'm not making any decisions right now, I can't even think straight." I explained. "Right now we need to go get ready for tonight and enjoy some quality time with our friends. There's nothing more we can do right now. Besides I think we both need a few days to process this information before we make any decisions. Okay?"

"Alright I agree we both need some time to think, but you have to promise me that you won't do anything rash without talking to me first." She pleaded.

"I promise." I said truthfully. "Now let's go before someone starts wondering where we are." I started the car and headed towards Haley's house.

After I dropped her off, with a promise to see her later tonight, I found myself driving around, not ready to go home just yet. When I parked the car I realized where I had ended up. I got out and walked towards the place that had become a safe haven for me; a place for me to think. I sat down on the table and looked out at the river. So calm and peaceful, the exact opposite of what I'm feeling right now. I am pregnant. I am pregnant with Lucas's baby. I am going to be a teenage mother. God I couldn't be a bigger cliché. What am I going to do? Do I tell Lucas? What would he think? Will he be there? All these questions were running across my mind a hundred miles per hour. I have options that I think I should look into before I tell Lucas anything. There is always adoption; there are plenty of people that want children that can't have them, that would be more than happy to adopt my baby. Would I be able go through with that? Give birth to a baby, and then give it to someone else to raise.

Then I thought about what I said to Haley in the car. That option was scary to think about. Can I really do something like that to not only myself but to Lucas? Even if he never knew that it happened, I would still have that guilt of knowing that I…killed our baby without telling him. Then there is always the last option: keeping the baby. Even though Lucas and I aren't together, I know for a fact that he would do everything he can to be a great dad. I think about a little boy with blonde hair and blue eyes, just like his father's. I feel tears running down my cheeks at the picture. I try and picture myself as a mother and freak out. How can I be someone's mother? I didn't exactly have a perfect example in my own. What if it's best for this baby to have another mother? One that will know how to do this whole parenting thing? I continue my thoughts until I see the sun starting to set. I wipe my eyes and head towards my car.

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><p>When I get home, Rachel is in the kitchen setting up the drinks and food. She hears me come in, and waves.<p>

"Hey. Where've you been?" she asked.

"After we left the doctor's office I went to the River Court to think for a bit. I needed some alone time." I explained. She comes towards me with a concerned expression.

"So….?" She asks curiously. "Come on spill it." I took a deep breath and looked at her.

"I'm pregnant." I sighed. "And so is Haley." Her eyes widened in shock but she quickly caught herself. I don't wait to hear what she has to say, I just head upstairs to get ready. I feel her right behind me as I enter our room. I walk towards the closet, and look for something to wear tonight.

"Brooke, stop. Talk to me." She pleaded, pulling me towards her. She wraps her arms around me and gives me a tight hug. I hug her back, letting the tears fall for a moment. I pull back and gave her what I hoped was a convincing smile.

"I know you want me to talk and explain, but I'm barely holding it together as it is, and talking about it right now is going to make me break down. Right now I just want to focus on getting through tonight, and then I promise we will talk more about it. But please, for me, just let it go for now." I pleaded. She hesitated for a minute then nodded.

"Okay it's dropped, for now at least. But, I'm here for you whenever you're ready to talk." She said.

"I know." I smiled. "Now help me pick out something hot to wear tonight."

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><p>It was 11 o'clock and everyone was here having a good time. I mentally thanked everyone for keeping this little gathering a secret because I was in no mood for a wild party tonight. I focused back in on the conversation we were currently having.<p>

"So you're telling me you've never even thought about it?" Nathan was asking Mouth. From the way Mouth was blushing, I'm not quite sure if I even wanted to know what the original question was. I looked around the room at our small group of friends and smiled. This is what we needed, a night to ourselves away from the rest of the world. Everyone was laughing and smiling, and at least for tonight we can feel like regular teenagers. Not married ones, or ones who are knocked up. I heard someone call my name and turned to see what they wanted

"Yea?"

"You okay?" Haley asked me.

"Yea, I'm fine, I just drifted off for a second." I laughed. She looked at me for a second before turning back to Nathan. I got up and headed towards the kitchen. I got something to drink and leaned against the counter and took a long sip.

"Brooke!" I jumped about a foot in the air, spilling some of my drink on the floor.

"Rachel what the hell?"

"That's just what I was about to ask you!" she whispered angrily. "Now I'm no genius but even I know that you're not supposed to drink when you're pregnant!" I looked at her confused for a second, before bursting out laughing.

"R-Rachel," I laughed, "It's not alcohol, its juice!" I handed her the cup, and let her see for herself.

"Oh…" she said bashfully.

"Good looking out for me, but I'm not stupid. As much as I would love a drink, I know better." I smiled.

"Well good, because I thought for a second that I was going to have to slap you." She smirked and walked out the kitchen. I stood there for a second laughing to myself before returning towards the living room. When I got in there I froze. There sitting on the couch were Lucas and Peyton. They both looked up when I walked into the room, and I quickly avoided their gaze and sat down next to Rachel. She herself had noticed the two additions and was staring daggers at both of them. I nudged her with my elbow.

"Behave." I mouthed to her. She just shrugged and took a long sip of her drink and cleared her throat.

"Well now that everyone is here..."she said glaring at our latest arrivals, "it's time for things to get interesting. I propose we play truth or dare." Several people, me included, began to protest. "Now before all you boring people say no, I'm saying right now that we are just playing for fun, that's all. Now everyone get a refill and we'll start." I could see everyone hesitate before reluctantly heading to refill their drinks. She sat down next to me with a smirk on her face.

"I thought I told you to behave!" I glared.

"I am! But we need to get things going. This is night is not going to be totally boring. What would people say?" she asked. I didn't get a chance to respond before everyone else started to come back in. I silently prayed that nothing bad would happen. The game started easy enough, people telling easy truths and performing minor dares. We had been playing for about 20 minutes, and I had started to relax. No one had asked anything inappropriate and everyone seemed to have loosened up. Then Rachel called out the next person's name. I spoke to soon.

"Lucas, Truth or Dare?" she asked.

"Truth." He said

"Okay. To this day what is your biggest regret? And if you were able to, how would you fix it?" she asked. Everyone in the room turned to look at me at that moment like they were waiting for my reaction. I looked down at my cup, feigning indifference, secretly waiting to hear what he was going to say. It was quiet for a moment before he spoke.

"My biggest regret is losing the woman I love. I did the one thing I promised I wouldn't do: I broke her heart. I betrayed her trust. I had someone that made me feel like I could do anything, made me want to be a better man, and I lost her." I looked up then, and was met with those piercing blue eyes. "I made a mistake, and if I could take it all back I would. I would show her that I am the man she fell in love with; tell her that she is the only one that has ever had my heart. I would hold on to her and never let go." He continued to look at me, and I couldn't have looked away if I tried. I'm not sure how long we stared at each other, but he looked away first, getting up, "I need another drink.", and headed to the kitchen. I sat there frozen, not sure what to do. I could feel everyone's eyes one me, but I didn't know what to say. I saw someone get up and head towards the kitchen, but suddenly Rachel was standing in their way.

"And where the hell do you think you're going, Blondie?" she asked, crossing her arms. I looked over to see Peyton trying to move around her to get to the kitchen.

"I'm going to check on my friend. Move." She said forcefully.

"Maybe you missed what he just said, but I'm sure you're the last person he wants to talk to right now." Rachel snapped.

"And how the hell would you know?" Peyton countered.

"Do you really want me to tell everybody why Lucas shouldn't be talking to you right now? I thought you might want to keep this between you and Brooke, but if you really want me to…"

"Rachel-" I started, getting up. I didn't get to finish because another voice interrupted me.

"No, Brooke. Let her finish." I turned to see Haley coming to standing next to the three of us. "I think Peyton should finally come clean about the damaged she caused."

"Really Haley? So much for not taking sides!" Peyton snapped.

"It's not about taking about sides Peyton!" Haley yelled, "It's about what's right and wrong, and what you did was wrong! Brooke was your best friend! She forgave you and you turned around and hurt her again. "She stepped closer until they were face to face.

"I did not do anything! Why does everyone assume it's my fault?" she cried. Haley was about to say something, when Rachel continued.

"Because you selfish bitch, Brooke told us everything!" she exclaimed. "Are you really that messed up in the head that you can't see that what you did was selfish and unforgivable?" Before Peyton could answer a voice spoke up behind us.

"What the hell are they talking about Peyton?" We all turned around to see Lucas standing there, glaring at my former best friend. I suddenly felt very nauseous, oh god…oh god…this can't be good. Rachel just laughed and stepped out of his way.

"Go ahead Peyton, I think we're all interested to know." She sneered. Peyton looked like a deer caught in headlights, and her skin looked extremely pale. Was she breathing?

"Peyton, what are they talking about?" Lucas repeated slowly.

"I-I-I have to go." Peyton stammered, before sprinting towards the front door, and outside. We all stood there in shock. Of course Rachel was the one that broke the silence,

"Well, I think that went well." I hadn't moved from my spot and I felt Haley wrap her arms around my shoulders.

"Tigger are you okay?" she asked. I hadn't noticed it before, but I was shaking. I tried to take a deep breath but I couldn't seem to breathe. I had to get out of this room. I removed myself from Haley's grip and ran upstairs. I heard several people call my name, but I didn't care. I ran into my room and slammed the door. I sat down on my bed and put my head in my hands. I had to breathe, but I was finding it hard to get my body to listen. I started to breathe in slowly and exhale deeply. I did that a couple of times, trying my best to calm down. I heard a knock on the door and I looked up to see Rachel and Haley walking in.

"Brooke, are you okay?" Haley asked, sitting down next to me.

"No Haley I'm not. What was that down there guys? Rachel, I asked you not to start anything with Peyton tonight! Then that's exactly what you did!" I yelled.

"Yea well I tried! But she was just sitting there like nothing ever happened, and that shit doesn't fly." She explained.

"Yea Brooke I never thought I would agree with Rachel, but she knows what she did yet she wants to act all innocent and that's not okay." Haley agreed. "I am sorry that I snapped like that in front of everybody, I know you didn't want that. But with everything that is going on, I just lost it! I really am sorry."

"Don't worry about it Hales…"I said softly, "I know you guys were trying to help. Thank you. I just wish things weren't so messed up!" I started to cry again and I felt them wrap their arms around me. After sitting there for a few minutes, I went to the bathroom to clean myself up. When I walked out I saw that there was someone standing in the doorway.

"Brooke we need to talk." He said. Both Rachel and Haley looked at me before heading towards the door.

"Call me if you need anything." Haley said.

"I'm going out to have some real fun. Don't wait up hoe!" Rachel said, following out after her.

"What do you want Lucas?" I asked, crossing my arms.

"You know what I want Brooke. What was that downstairs?"

"Go ask your girlfriend Luke, I don't feel like dealing with any of this right now." I scowled, going to sit down on my bed.

"Damn it Brooke! Just talk to me!" he yelled.

"Why should I? I have nothing to say."

"Don't you think after everything we've been through, you owe me the truth?"

"I don't owe you anything Luke! I made it very clear to you why things weren't working out. I don't know what else you want me to say." He came and sat down next to me, looking straight at me. He grabbed my hand and held it between both if his. I tried to pull away but he tightened his grip.

"Brooke, please." He begged. Why does he have to keep pushing this? Telling him is not going to make a difference. Once he knows that Peyton has feelings for him, he's going to run right back to her. So what difference does it make? Then the conversations I had with Rachel and Haley came rushing back to me. Why can't I just tell him? He's told me over and over again that he doesn't have feeling for Peyton and that he I'm the one he's in love with. Maybe I should tell him, and just see what he does with the information. I cleared my throat and took a deep breath.

"Well…umm…on the night of Nathan and Haley's rehearsal dinner, Peyton…" I started, feeling my throat become dry, and I could feel tears start to form. Lucas squeezed my hand, urging me to continue. "S-She…she told me she has feelings for you." He dropped my hand and stood up.

"She did what?" he asked, looking shell shocked.

"Please don't make me repeat it Lucas." I pleaded. He started pacing across the room, going back and forth for a minute before stopping and turning to look at me.

"I don't understand. Why would she do something like that?" he asked.

"I'm still asking myself that question." I murmured. He came and sat back down next to me again.

"So that's why you broke up with me?" he questioned. "Because of that?"

"Yes that was a big part of it. I didn't tell you because I knew that it wouldn't matter. I knew that as soon as we broke up that she would make you feel bad for her, and eventually you guys would get back together. So I just made it easier for everybody, now you can go back to her without any guilt."

"So you just assumed that because Peyton told you that she had feelings for me, that I would just go running back to her?" he said, clenching his jaw, his voice rising with every word.

"Well if history is any indication Luke, we all know it was a matter of time before you go running back to her." I spat at him.

"Really Brooke?" he snapped. "Don't you think you should have talked to me before making that decision for both of us? Why would you do that?"

"Because I'm tired Lucas! I tired of having to compete with my best friend for my boyfriend affection! I am nobody's second choice, and I deserve better!" I yelled.

"Do you really think that if you told me what Peyton said, that I would just go running into her arms?" he asked.

"I didn't know what to think Luke! I just knew that I didn't want my heart broken again." I said sadly. "It nearly killed me last time, and I couldn't go through that again." He reached up and cupped my face in his hands.

"Pretty Girl…" he whispered. I avoided his gaze, not wanting to see the emotion is his eyes. "Look at me." When I looked into his eyes, I felt myself falling for him all over again. "I told you once, but I will say it again: I do not have feelings for Peyton. I fell in love with you. I am in love with you. Nothing, absolutely nothing, is going to change that. You're it for me."

"I really wish I could believe that Luke…" I cried.

"Well believe it, because it's true. I love you, pretty girl" He said, smiling softly. He looked at me for a second before leaning in. I should have stopped in, but honestly I didn't want to. I pulled him towards me and kissed him. He pressed his body against mine and kissed me hard. I lost myself in the kiss, savoring the feeling of his lips on mine. Our tongues fought for dominance, but I soon gave up, letting him explore my mouth thoroughly. A loud moan escaped my throat as he pushed me down onto the bed, settling himself on top of me. I wrapped my arms around his neck, running my hand up and down his back. He finally let me breathe, planting kisses down my neck. He started sucking and biting on the spot just below my ear, and I swear my eyes rolled back in my head. His hands were running along my body, not shy about what he was doing. Good Lord, his mouth and hands were a devilish combination. I felt his hand make its way under my shirt and caress my stomach.

"Pretty girl…"he whispered in my ear, "I love you so much."

"Luke…" I whimpered, pushing his chest.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"There's something I need to say." A look of worry flashed across his face, he pulled himself up, ready to hear what I had to say.

"Luke I want to believe you when you tell me you love me, I really do. But those are just words. Now I admit, that I was afraid to tell you what Peyton said because of what I thought you might do. You might not have reacted like I thought you would, but going through all this, made me see that my insecurities are still there when it comes to you."

"Brooke-"he started.

"No let me finish. I need to get this out. When Peyton told me she had feelings for you, everything from last year came rushing back to me. I tried to ignore it, but I couldn't. I started doubting you, and myself. I'll admit that I got scared. I convinced myself that ending it would be the best thing for both of us. But these last few days, I realized something. Breaking it off with you didn't make me feel any better, if anything I felt worse." I felt myself getting choked up and stopped to compose myself.

"Brooke, I'm sorry." He apologized.

"That's just it. You don't have to be. You didn't do anything wrong Luke. It was all me this time. I got scared and I ran. I told you that I wanted you to fight for me, and you did. But when it was my turn to fight for you, I just gave up. I didn't even try." I reached up and ran my fingertips down his cheek. "And, I'm sorry for that. It wasn't fair. To me or to you."

"Thank you for being honest with me, I appreciate it." He said with a smile. "So…what does this mean for us?"

"Honestly I don't know. I want to be with Luke, but I need to work through these insecurities. Otherwise they'll just keep coming back over and over again. Peyton has always been a factor in our relationship and that has to change." I explained.

"I understand, but since you've apologized, I think I should too. I'm sorry that I always seem to be there for Peyton and not you. I never did it intentionally. She told me once that I was the one guy she could always depend on, and I liked being that guy for her. I didn't see at the time that, all the while being there for her, I was pushing you away. I promise you that will change. I would rather lose Peyton as a friend, than ever lose you in my life, and I need you to believe that."

"I do believe you Luke, I do. Just be patient with me, please." I pleaded. As much as I loved the progress we were making, there was still something that I had yet to tell him and I needed more time before giving him the news.

"Absolutely. Take all the time you need, I'll be right here." He answered. He leaned in and gave me a long deep kiss that I could all the way down to my toes. I pulled him down on top of me, kissing him back with as much passion. My hands went to unbutton his shirt, but before I could get one undone, hands grabbed my wrists. I didn't pay it any mind, my mind still focused on his amazing lips. I could feel myself getting lost in him and I needed more. I went for his shirt again, and again I was stopped. I pulled my back, looking at him confused.

"What's wrong?" I asked. "Don't you want to?" He looked at me for a second before flopping down on the bed next to me.

"Of course I do Brooke. It's just that we just made up, and you said you still needed time. I'm glad I have you back, I just think we should wait before having sex again."

"Ummm…okay. Can I ask why?"

"Because the physical stuff, the sex, always came easy with us. We've always wanted each other in that way. It's the emotional stuff that we keep getting caught up on. I think we should just let things happen, there's no need to rush. Right now I want you to see that I'm all in. You told me that I never let you all the way in, and I'm going to do my best to fix that. There's plenty of time for the sex later." He explained. I felt myself getting choked up at his words. How is it that he knows what I want to hear even when I don't? I leaned over him, looking into those beautiful blue eyes.

"Thank you." I whispered. I leaned down giving him a soft kiss.

"I love you, Brooke Davis." He said giving me an intense look. If I was standing I probably would have melted to the floor. In his eyes, I could see the love pouring through. I felt my stomach tighten into knots, but in a good way.

"I love you too, Lucas Scott." His eyes lit up when I said it, making them even more hypnotizing. He pulled me down onto his chest, burying his face in my hair. I closed my eyes and let out a contented sigh. I had Lucas back. Even after telling him everything, he still loved me. I know that tomorrow I would have to face reality, and what I was going to do about this whole baby situation but for right now I just wanted to be here in this moment with him; basking in our love for each other. Just for tonight I wanted to be young and in love.

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><p><strong>So what'd you think? Love it? Hate it? Just happy I updated? lol Either way review and tell me what you thought. I love your feeback! I am working on the next chapter as we speak, so you should get that soon. REVIEWWW!:DD <strong>

**~Kaylin**


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